Friday, May 21, 2010

Lesser of two evils

I'll tell you straight out that the contestants this time around are Susie Hatton and Joey C. Jones and the Glory Hounds. So quick quiz what do these two acts have in common.


A-You have never heard of either of them before.

B-They both stink like a landfill on a hot day.

C-Neither deserved a record contract.

D-Metal Mark is now the not so proud owner of their CDs.

E-They both have ties to Poison members.


Well it could be any of those, but the one I am looking for is E. Susie Hatton was Bret Michaels' girlfriend at one point which is the main reason she got a record contract. He also greatly contributed to the album and she toured as his opening act when he did a solo tour in the early 90's. Joey C. Jones was in Needle Park with CC Deville. Joey C. Jones and the Glory Hounds came to be after parting ways with CC. So this could indeed be seen as the guilty by association version of Lesser of two evils.


Let's have at 'em.

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Joey C Jones and the Glory Hounds-s/t (1993)

vs.



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Susie Hatton-Body and soul (1991)


Vocals

Susie Hatton vs. Joey C Jones in the first match-up. Susie Hatton's melodies are so much like Bret Michaels as I guess he taught her all he knew and just his style. That of course is a very limited approach and actually she has a decent voice, but she never reaches out much or goes beyond a very basic radio friendly rock style. Joey C Jones has a slightly nasal voice, but it's slightly rough too which helps. The biggest problem with him is that sometimes he pushes beyond his limits and the results are painful. Fairly close in this category. Neither do a good job of conveying any emotion though. I'll go with the smoother voice...

Point to Susie Hatton



Guitars

For Susie it is Pat Schunk for most of the time and Bret Michaels is listed as playing acoustic guitar too. They are up against Craig Bradford for the most part and drummer Adam Hamilton actually does acoustic guitars. Now I did not plan the part about each band having a separate guy doing acoustic parts. I didn't even notice it until I went to write up this part. Not that having a separate person helps in way for these two albums. The guitars in general are prime examples as to why hard rock fell off the face of the music world in the 90's. Many of the riffs here on both albums are bland and ten seconds after the track finishes I was mentally scrambling to remember what the riff sounded like. Then I realized that if I couldn't recall it then I probably wasn't missing out on much. The biggest difference between the two is that the guitars for Susie Hatton just glides through lifelessly. However the guitars for Joey C. Jones do hit upon a few tiny grooves here and there.

Point to Joey C. Jones and the Glory Hounds


Rhythm section


Susie Hatton's rhythm section of drummer Jeff Schunk and bass players John Pierce and Sean Englesby are up against bass player Christopher Torok and drummer Adam Hamilton for Joey C. Jones. If I had trouble remembering the guitars you can imagine the trouble I had recalling the rhythm sections for these two acts. The bass for Susie Hatton is practically non-existent and the drums are the same any other early 90's fluffy hard rock album that nobody should have to hear these days. The rhythm section for Joey C. Jones fare a slightly better as they are part of those short grooves I mentioned above.

Point to Joey C. Jones


Originality/production

Susie Hatton was likely doing her hair and make-up when original musical ideas were being handed. Come to think of it I'll bet Joey C. Jones and the glory hounds may have been in the same situation. Anyways originality points for Susie are 0. This is warmed over Poison only lighter. Originality points for Joey C. Jones are maybe a couple. They sound kind of like Enuff Z Nuff only more boring, but on a few songs they wake up and stir up a few sparks. The production on both albums is fine enough.


Point to Joey C. Jones




Who rocks more

If either band rocked I would be rubbing my temples right now trying to figure out how to answer this question with a response other than "pass". As stated above Joey C. and his band hit some grooves, but there was never a whole song that really rocked. Susie Hatton's band fell flat and the ideas were limited, but vocally she did enough to keep my attention for a whole song despite dealing with poor material. The scales are even on this one...

Tie


Joey C. Jones and the Glory Hounds beat out Susie Hatton 3-1-1 in this contest. Both albums are good examples of bad hard rock from the 90's and both should probably be put in a time capsule, buried and maybe it would be best not to dig them up at least until I am dead and gone. At least that way I wouldn't have to think about either again.

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